In episode #5, we talk about the importance of setting boundaries in your business. Strong, healthy boundaries can be the difference between feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and anxious or feeling satisfied, successful, and confident.
Join us as we share the considerable benefits of established boundaries, the consequences of operating without them, and ideas for setting up boundaries in your business starting today.
TIME-STAMPED SHOW NOTES:
[01:00] The #1 complaint of business owners
[01:59] The negative consequences of not establishing boundaries
[02:30] Theresa shares how she’s struggled with boundaries
[04:17] Why you resist setting boundaries
[05:09] Meghan shares the boundaries she set after a difficult client experience
[06:39] How established boundaries can help you create structure
[08:05] What we teach our clients when we don’t set boundaries
[09:22] Healthy boundaries are essential to self-care
[11:18] Setting boundaries with yourself
[14:25] Examples of healthy boundaries
[15:16] Boundaries help with decision-making
[16:11] Wrapping it up
Introduction
[Theresa] What would you say the number one complaint of service-based business owners is…and it’s not money.
[Meghan] Well, business owners are always complaining about money. So, if it’s not money, my guess is time. Everything takes too much time to do, and there’s never enough time in a day.
[Theresa] Yep, time is the number one complaint, but I’d like to make the argument today that time isn’t actually the problem. It’s more of this symptom to a bigger problem. The bigger issue is not having strong, healthy boundaries. By boundaries, I mean the limits and rules that you set up for yourself within relationships. That includes relationships with clients, family, friends, and even yourself.
Today I want to dive deeper into this subject because boundaries make everything easier and less stressful.
Consequences of Not Setting Boundaries in Business
[Meghan] Not having boundaries in business and life can definitely have negative consequences. You’ll experience more stress, wasted time, mental distress, and even relationship issues, including personal and professional relationships.
But the good news is that if you haven’t established boundaries for yourself in your business, it’s never too late. You can begin today.
[Theresa] True! You are work in progress, so don’t beat yourself up if you’ve been operating without some guidelines. I’ve certainly struggled with boundaries in the past. Sometimes it’s just hard to say no. You know what I mean?
[Meghan] Definitely.
[Theresa] At first I resisted setting boundaries in the way that I worked, but over time and it was quite a bit of time that I spent figuring out exactly what worked for me. Mornings are my best time to work. I get so much done, I’m really productive. I’m a lot faster and I have a lot more mental clarity and also a lot more willpower. But then I started networking on it all went to pot. I started making all of these really great friends and colleagues, meeting new people that were interesting, and I wanted to get to know them.
My networking group encourages doing face-to-face, one on one meetings. So, I started making meetings like a crazy lady and I was cutting into my morning work blocks, which was not a good idea. I started neglecting my blocks, neglecting myself. Quickly, I found myself feeling frustrated. My work wasn’t getting done. I also started to get really, really frustrated and my anxiety started going through the roof because things started to pile up.
What I learned from that experience was that healthy boundaries can actually have really good benefits, but only if you honor them. Before we get to those benefits, let’s talk about why people may not set boundaries.
Why You Have Not Set Up Boundaries in Business
[Meghan] I think there are lots of reasons why people may resist boundaries. Like me, you may have been raised in a society where boundaries were kind of difficult. Often people associate boundaries with more negative feelings. In other words, the perception is that boundaries are bad.
You may be apt not to set boundaries because you want to be helpful. You want to be liked and accepted. Or maybe you hate telling people no. That’s actually a big reason for many people.
Other reasons you may resist boundaries is the fear of missing out or even a fear that you’ll lose a client if you don’t accommodate their requests. That’s definitely happened to me before.
Those are a few examples of why you may not have set boundaries, but no matter what the reason, the truth is that having boundaries helps you in the long run.
I can think back to the time when I had my own Web design business. One of my clients kept adding requests and features to her website project. I had asked her for a contract, but she didn’t want to sign one. So the scope creep on this project was massive. I’m not joking. The website requests were never-ending. Just added one thing after another.
Then, unfortunately, we had a death in my family. I had to go away to a funeral. While I was at the funeral out of state, this client just wanted more and more. While I was at the funeral!
Yeah, it wasn’t good, but what was good was I had a big ah-ha moment. Out of that, I set two new boundaries for myself:
- All projects required a signed contract to keep the scope and my time in check.
- I learned to say no.
By the way, saying no is one of the biggest gifts you can give to yourself.
Anyway, I shared all that with you to illustrate how setting boundaries saves you time and effort and a lot of frustration, too.
You’ll reduce stress and overwhelm when you’ve got those boundaries in place.
Setting Boundaries Helps to Build Structure
[Theresa] Yes! What I love about that story is it demonstrates how workload increases without proper boundaries. For example, how much time, effort, and free advice you give in addition to boundaries helping you to form your processes.
It also helps to create structure around your relationships and how you work. This piece will be critical for you.
Recently, I had a client who had a nightmare client. This client was always overreaching, kind of similar to what was happening with you. Meghan. She was always asking for more than what was stipulated in their contract. And, she was even relying on my client to help her make important decisions in her business. We’re talking about calls late at night, multiple emails a day, and if my client didn’t get backed her within a few minutes, she would have these hissy fits.
My client was so stressed out. She really wanted to help her client. She really wanted to make her client happy. But there wasn’t anything that she could do to appease this person.
While my client wanted to keep her client happy, in not setting up any rules ahead of time, she created the right atmosphere to be taken advantage of. But honestly, it really wasn’t her client’s fault. It was her fault.
What she was really teaching her client is…I don’t respect my time, and neither should you.
And instead of over-delivering on being helpful and being accommodating, she was fostering a lack of respect from her client.
She was also enabling her client so her client was relying on her instead of being confident to make her own decisions. And the worst part of it all, at least I think, is that my client had set up an atmosphere where resentment built up on both sides. So the relationship was terrible.
By creating some clear boundaries around contact and scope of work, instead of being overwhelmed, feeling guilty, being resentful and working way over the number of contract hours, my client had more time, she had less stress and happier relationships with her clients.
But remember, ultimately, you are responsible for creating the guidelines that teach people how you want to be treated. That’s in business and in life. When you do this, you’ll have stronger relationships and good, healthy relationships, make everything more enjoyable.
Having Healthy Boundaries is Important to Self-Care
[Meghan] That is good stuff, Theresa. I think that not having boundaries leads to bad behavior in client relationships. I’ve seen that many times with my own businesses and also with other people’s businesses. Do you know what that makes me think of? Self-care!
Healthy boundaries are essential to self-care. Yes, after all, there’s only one you which in my case, is a good thing. Let’s face it, you can take better care of others when you first take care of yourself.
I think people who have good health tend to take it for granted. As someone who has a few somewhat serious medical conditions. Take it from me, health issues make everything else more difficult, so you have to prioritize taking care of yourself. One thing I do is to take two-hour breaks during the day.
You’re thinking, “Whoa! That’s insane!” In fact, I had a business coach once look at my time block calendar and exclaimed with complete horror, “You don’t need a break that long. 30 minutes is enough.” But I’m a content creator. I typically start creating early in the morning by 11 a.m. I’m slowing down. My work and production slow to a halt. My energy takes a total nose dive. If I don’t take that two-hour break, the remainder of my afternoon is far less productive. I’m foggy-brained, I’m scattered and that leads to stress.
So again, take care of yourself. Set self-care boundaries that help you. And don’t worry about what others say.
Respect your body and your brain. You will feel better, have more clarity, make better decisions and you’ll avoid burnout.
Set Boundaries with Yourself
[Theresa] Oh, that’s so good. I love that. And it reminds me how important it is to set boundaries with yourself and how you like to work so that you don’t get behind or end up focusing on things that are in a priority or not be productive at all because you’ve worked yourself to the point of fatigue.
The best example of this is how I make time to work on my business. And I’m gonna tie this back to that whole networking discussion. I have talked about this before on this podcast…about how there was a time I was working 16 to 18 hours a day. It was absolutely insane. Talk about no self-care!
I also had no boundaries and never said no to anything. I’d take on more responsibility than I needed to, also.
One of the things I am proud of when it comes to how I work is that I really understand myself. I understand that my best time to work is in the morning. I work on things that take a lot more of my brainpower like content creation, strategy, that kind of stuff. Then I save things for later in the day, for example, client calls. Of course, that uses my brainpower, but it’s different when I have to show up and do things for myself rather than having to be there for you. When I know I need to be there for a client, I would never want to disappoint them.
In that instance, my willpower has no say in it. I’ve made the commitment to my client and I’m there. I love that interaction in the afternoon and it gives me another boost of energy.
When I wasn’t honoring my best work times because I was taking all those face-to-face meetings in the morning. I really cut into the boundaries that I had already set for myself. I was cutting into my most productive time and, in not honoring that, I was creating stress and overwhelm. And once I stopped scheduling appointments during my most important blocks of time, I felt freer and I felt more accomplished.
I also noticed a boost in my self-esteem because I wasn’t carrying around the weight of worry that came when I had unfinished work or projects. So, make sure you’re setting boundaries for yourself and honoring those boundaries.
[Meghan] That’s really important advice and I think a lot of people can relate to it. I think we all fall into some of the same bad habits. But then, experience shows you what you need to do.
Boundaries that You Can Set Up in Your Business
[Meghan] Before we head out today, we’d like to give you some examples of boundaries that you may want to set up in your own business.
[Meghan and Theresa]
- Set up office hours for your clients and only answer communications between those times.
- Say no to opportunities that don’t align with your goals and don’t feel bad about that.
- Don’t share too much personal information with your clients that can really blur the boundary lines.
- Create blocks of time to work on your projects for your business and honor them.
[Meghan] I think those are really good places to start setting boundaries. There’s one last thing I want to share.
Having Boundaries Support the Decision-Making Process
My favorite aspect of boundaries is their ability to help in the decision-making process. Once you’ve to find your boundaries, you can use them to guide your business choices as well as your personal decisions.
As a simple example, let’s say you’ve chosen to work until 4 p.m. on weekdays. That’s the boundary you set when a client calls at 3:45 p.m. with a last-minute request. You already know your answer. Your reply is that you will be happy to help them tomorrow because you already have a commitment. You’re not obliged to say any more than that.
And it’s true. You do have a commitment. It’s a commitment to yourself and to the boundary you set. That’s how boundaries provide much-needed structure, guidance in your actions, and even confidence.
Don’t look at boundaries is limiting, but as freedom from making decisions you could later regret?
[Theresa] Insightful as always, Meghan.
Well, that’s a wrap for today. Now it’s your turn. Your action for today is to think about some boundaries that you need to set up in your business and write them down. Then pick one to implement this week. You can do it. Take care of you.
