We hate to break it to you but achieving work-life is a complete myth. It’s just impossible to have the perfect balance between work and life.
However, you can attain a little more balance if you’ve got the right mindset. Today we’re sharing five tips to help you stop stressing out about work-life balance, so you can be more productive personally and professionally.
TIME-STAMPED SHOW NOTES:
[00:51] The History of Work-Life Balance
[02:02] Work-Life Balance Today
[03:01] The Myth of Work-Life Balance
[04:22] How to Stay Sane WITHOUT Stressing Out About Achieving Work-Life Balance
[11:41] Understanding the Dilemma of Work-Life Balance
[12:41] Bloopers
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
The One Thing by Gary Kellar
The History of Work-Life Balance
[Theresa] These days achieving work-life balance is something that most solopreneurs long for. But that wasn’t always the case.
Thousands of years ago, there were two roles for humans. You were either a hunter or a gatherer. And in those days work was life. In other words, if you didn’t hunt or gather, you weren’t going to have a very long life.
[Meghan] That’s for sure. People certainly weren’t concerned about work-life balance back then.
As a matter of fact, the concept of work-life balance didn’t really take hold until the 1980’s when more than half of all married women entered the workforce. (source: The One Thing, Gary Kellar)
Before then, the traditional home consisted of a breadwinner and a homemaker. Almost overnight, that changed.
[Theresa] That’s right. It wasn’t too long until women, who now hold both breadwinner and homemaker roles, were heard lamenting about the elusive balance between working and running a household.
By the 1990s, men had adopted this phrase too.
Now here we are in 2021 and people are no closer to achieving work-life balance.
Work-Life Balance Today
[Meghan] The struggle to achieve work-life balance is especially difficult for women. Women are not leaving the workforce. Yet, the expectation is that women should and can do everything.
Earn the money. Run the household. Raise the children. Be a good friend. Take care of others.
[Theresa] And with 40% of businesses being owned by women, women are doing more than ever before. This means that achieving a balance between work and life is practically impossible.
And it brings to mind some important questions.
Is achieving work-life balance even possible?
Is there some magic formula that will let you be everything to everybody?
Can you really break down each 24-hour period into neat little segments, equally divided between home, kids, pets, work, and friends?
Can you be productive and have balance between work and life?
In other words, can you have it all?
The Myth of Work-Life Balance
[Meghan] I suppose in a world where you could plan every second – and nothing unexpected ever happened – you may be able to achieve that elusive “perfect” work-life balance.
But, as we know, life doesn’t work like that.
[Theresa] Sick kids, aging parents, projects that take much longer than anticipated, unexpected bills, clients pulling out of contracts without notice are a few of the things that conspire against you in your quest to balance life and work.
Although you all know these things happen, you still expect superhuman results from yourself. You expect to meet all of your work-related deadlines on time, have a clean and tidy house, home cooked meals on the table, happy children, satisfied clients and so much more.
And, of course, you’ll do it all with humility and grace.
I believe that being able to “do it all” is a myth – and not a harmless one.
[Meghan] But, what’s the alternative?
If it’s impossible to balance work and life, do you just give up? Do you get used to living in a constant state of guilt, exhaustion, or regret?
Of course not.
While both of us believe that achieving the “perfect” work-life balance is a myth, it is possible to have a little more balance.
How to Stay Sane WITHOUT Stressing Out About Achieving Work-Life Balance
[Theresa] Right. It comes down to defining what achieving work-life balance is for you.
[Meghan] Having balance in your life should be based on personal preferences, not societal norms.
That means you have to think differently about work-life balance and what it means in your life.
Here are some ideas to consider as you begin to reframe your thoughts.
Check Your Expectations
[Theresa] When it comes to achieving work-life balance, tip #1 is to check your expectations. Are they realistic?
Shakespeare wrote, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.”
I believe this is especially true when it comes to work-life balance.
When you have unrealistic expectations, like you’ll be the perfect parent, partner, spouse and business owner or that you will always have time for everything, things start to fall apart fast.
This inevitably evokes feelings of inadequacy and frustration. All that does is cause you more stress and takes you further away from the balance you’re trying to achieve. And it adversely affects your productivity.
[Meghan] So if you’re feeling like a failure when it comes to managing your business or your personal life, ask yourself: Are my expectations for myself realistic or am I holding myself to an impossible standard?
Then be honest with your answer. Don’t judge. All you’re doing is collecting information.
We always say that change begins with awareness. Once you become aware of the expectations you’re putting on yourself, you can begin to make meaningful, lasting changes.
Watch Out for Signs of Resentment
[Theresa] Tip #2 is to watch out for signs of resentment.
Marissa Mayer says, “Burnout is about resentment. Preventing it is about knowing yourself well enough to know what it is you’re giving up that makes you resentful.”
Resentment doesn’t feel good.
However, it can be an extremely helpful emotion as it’s a warning sign that you’re doing something – or not doing something – that goes against your values or desires.
[Meghan] For instance, let’s say you find yourself feeling resentful that your partner seems to have all the time in the world to relax and enjoy life.
This resentment is less about your partner’s free time and more about your lack of it. It shows that you desire free time.
Listen to yourself. Instead of being resentful, look at what you need to change in your life or business that will allow YOU to have more free time as well.
Set Realistic Goals
[Theresa] I totally agree.
Want to get a little closer to more balance between your personal and professional life? Tip #3 is to set realistic goals, which is no surprise.
[Meghan] So true!
[Theresa] When you’re running around putting out fires every day, life can quickly start to feel unmanageable and overwhelming.
However, if you set reasonable, realistic, attainable goals – both in your business and in your personal life – everything will start to feel much more manageable. Setting clear goals helps you focus on what matters, which means you’ll be more productive.
[Meghan] Instead of constantly holding yourself to unspoken ideals (and falling short of them), you can feel good about meeting the much-more reasonable goals that you’ve set for yourself.
Take Time to Take Care of Yourself
[Theresa] On to tip #4. To attain a better work-life balance you have to take time to take care of yourself. That’s not MAKE time, but TAKE time. This is a non-negotiable.
I’m not talking about simplistic “self-care” strategies here. Taking bubble baths isn’t going to cut it!
But what will help is being proactive and intentional about managing stress through building in time for rest, relaxation and recovery.
For instance, it’s cliché, but we know that exercise reduces stress. So build exercise into your routine. Do whatever you enjoy, whether that’s walking, jogging, hiking, yoga, dancing, etc.
[Meghan] Another helpful strategy for managing stress is using visualization techniques. These can reduce your stress, increase your marketing productivity, and lead to a more effective business mindset.
[Theresa] One more helpful stress management technique? Play! That’s right. I said play.
I recently read a wonderful article about the benefits of play. Some of the benefits are:
- More happiness
- Decreased depression
- Improved cognitive health
- Less risk of age-related diseases like dementia
There are so many wonderful benefits to simply having fun.
[Meghan] And speaking of fun, you want to have some when it comes to your work as well.
You know the saying: When you love what you do, you never work a day in your life. Well, I don’t agree with the concept that you must love your work to enjoy it.
But I do think it’s important to like what you do and to enjoy your work to some extent. If you don’t, it may be time to quit.
Embrace the Extremes
[Theresa] Good point.
Our final tip, tip #5, is to embrace the extremes when they happen. Because they will happen.
What is an extreme? An extreme is anything that takes you majorly out of balance.
For example, I recently launched my first group coaching program, Plan To Achieve. Normally, I don’t work nights or weekends. However, during the pre-launch phase, I was working most Saturday mornings. By the time launch week arrived, I was working seven days a week and several evenings.
I was definitely out of balance. Things like laundry, cooking, cleaning and even my husband got neglected. It reminded me of when I was a workaholic working 16-18 hour days.
BUT, the difference with the launch is that I knew why I was working in this extreme manner. I also understood that it was temporary. And, and I think this is a very important point, while I was definitely out of balance, there were things that I was unwilling to give up like sleep and meals.
Sure, it was more takeout for a week, but working in that extreme was helping me achieve something important. So instead of fighting against it, I embraced it and rode the wave until the launch was over.
[Meghan] We all have those extreme moments. The trick is not to stay in them for too long a period. If you do, you could create bad habits that affect your well-being.
So embrace the extremes when they serve a purpose. But also figure out your non-negotiables, like Theresa did with making sure she carved out time to eat and sleep. These can provide the little bit of balance you need to ride that extreme wave — be it personal or professional.
Understanding the Dilemma of Work-Life Balance
[Theresa] That’s super important! Something else that you should understand when it comes to achieving work-life balance is that no matter what you do, something will always be underserved.
But you can definitely minimize feeling unbalanced by prioritizing and focusing on the things that matter most.
[Meghan] Right. When you’re focused on what matters, something will be neglected. Everything can’t be in the number one priority spot. And it shouldn’t be. That’s not productive.
Achieving work-life balance isn’t really about attaining the perfect ratio of personal things and business things. It’s about creating a feeling of accomplishment and well-being.
[Theresa] What a great thought to end on. Alright, that’s it for today, everyone!
Do you have any tips on how to achieve a more balance between work and life?
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