In this post, we talk about how to break a bad habit.
If you have unwanted habits that you want to change, read on to learn an easy 5-step process to do just that.
TIME-STAMPED SHOW NOTES:
[00:51] Intro
[02:03] How Long Does it Take to Break a Bad Habit?
[03:37] Make a New Habit to Break a Bad Habit
[06:07] 5 Steps to Break a Bad Habit
[12:44] You Can Break a Bad Habit
[14:05] Bloopers
[Theresa] OK. I have a confession to make.
[Meghan] What’s that?
[Theresa] I’ve been avoiding today’s topic like an overly amorous prom date.
[Meghan] I noticed that. Theresa’s been talking about doing an episode on how to break a bad habit for a bit now, so I’m glad we’re finally getting to it.
[Theresa] As Meghan knows, sometimes I’m hesitant to talk about a topic because I want to make sure that I’m dispensing sound advice. So, I’m going to begin today with a caveat so we are all on the same page.
I do not proclaim to be an expert on how to break bad habits. I don’t have a degree in psychology. What I do know is what has and hasn’t worked for me personally. So, with that in mind, today I’m going to share what I’ve learned in my own experience with creating better habits and breaking bad ones. Sound good?
[Meghan] Absolutely! Where do we start?
Learn how to break a bad habit with this simple 5-step process.Click To TweetHow Long Does it Take to Break a Bad Habit?
[Theresa] Let’s begin with a simple question. How long does it take to break a bad habit?
[Meghan] OOOOOHHHHH…that’s a good place to start!
[Theresa] Hold your enthusiasm for a hot minute. Yes, the question is simple, but the answer? That’s a little more complicated.
In a previous episode where we shared how to build good habits, I cited a study conducted by Phillippa Lally, a health psychology researcher at University College London. She conducted a study in 2009 to determine how long it actually takes to form a habit.
She discovered that it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days for a habit to become fully automatic. But on average it takes 66 days to completely establish a new habit.
[Meghan] So, is that the same principle that applies to breaking a bad habit?
[Theresa] Yes. In either case, how long it takes to create a good habit or break a bad habit will depend on the difficulty of the habit you’re making or breaking. Your motivation to make a change is also a factor.
Here’s the truth, habits can be hard to break. Can it be done? Sure. When it comes to eliminating bad habits though, sometimes it’s best not to break them at all.
[Meghan] Wait! Hold up! We shouldn’t break our bad habits?
Make a New Habit to Break a Bad Habit
[Theresa] Yeah, I know it sounds crazy. But I really don’t try to break my bad habits. When I’ve tried in the past, I’ve failed miserably. Instead, I replace bad or unwanted habits with better behaviors. I’ve found this to be much more effective.
But don’t take my word for it. Dr. Elliot Berkman, Director of the Social and Affective Neuroscience Laboratory, Department of Psychology, at the University of Oregon, says that “It’s easier to start doing something new than to stop doing something habitual without a replacement behavior.”
[Meghan] OK. How does this work? Give us an example.
[Theresa] Ok I’ve got one.
Creating Better Habits Helps Replace Bad Habits
During the period of my life when I was a workaholic, I developed many bad habits, but the worst ones were those regarding food. Basically, I barely ate. I mean, who had time for food? While I would drag myself away from work long enough to feed my family, I often didn’t eat or I ate in front of a computer.
When I realized that I needed to start treating myself better, I understood that included creating better habits around food.
My transformation began with scheduling time for meals first. I was pretty successful about taking the break time and going into the kitchen. However, I’d open the refrigerator, get frustrated, and grab something that wasn’t necessarily healthy.
Over time, I developed better habits through better planning. For example, I’d make more than enough food at dinner time so there’d be leftovers for lunch the next day.
And recently, I’ve started doing some meal prep on Sunday so that I have a variety of ingredients prepared ahead of time. I don’t have this process down pat yet, but I’ve already noticed many benefits in doing the prep, so I’ll continue with it.
[Meghan] In other words, the new, better habits ended up establishing good, healthy behaviors around eating meals. And just like that, the new habits kicked the bad habits to the curb.
[Theresa] Yep! You know, it all comes down to mindset. For me, there is less resistance to change when I’m focused on creating a new, more desired behavior. How I approach the process becomes different.
5 Steps to Break a Bad Habit
[Meghan] And that’s the perfect segue into my next question, which is what are the steps needed to break a bad habit?
1. Be aware of the bad habit you’re trying to break.
[Theresa] The first step to break a bad habit is awareness. So, identify the habit you want to change. It’s that simple. You have to know that something needs to change before you can take action to change it.
And I’ll add this note: Do this without judgment.
All you need to do is take note of it. This isn’t the time to beat yourself up. The habit you created served a purpose at one time. Now you are building better habits to serve a better purpose.
[Meghan] Awareness without judgment. Both can be tough! But, that makes sense as the first step.
2. Know your why.
[Theresa] Once you are aware of the habit you want to break, step two is to understand why you’re doing it.
I find this habit breakdown process helpful:
- Write down the habit you’d like to change.
- List the ways that the behavior negatively affects you.
- Brainstorm what positive changes will occur once you replace that behavior.
[Meghan] Ooo. I like that. Through this process, you can clearly see how a particular habit is doing you harm.
But if that isn’t enough motivation to break a bad habit, then seeing the positive possibilities could be exactly what you need!
[Theresa] Yes. Whether it’s to avoid negative consequences or to embrace positive ones, seeing those clearly written out can help you get clarity on why you’re making a change. And you need to understand WHY you want to break a bad habit for it to really work.
[Meghan] Yep! What’s next.
3. Choose a replacement habit.
[Theresa] Step three is to choose a new, better habit to replace the one you’re trying to eliminate. The habit breakdown process will help you identify the new behavior or habit you want to establish.
For example, I identified some of the positive effects of making time for meals as:
- More energy
- Improved focus
- A healthier body and mind
- Better mood
- Increased productivity
These benefits inspired me to replace the bad habit of working through lunch with the good habit of blocking off time for meals. Because of this, I literally have time scheduled in my calendar for meals, which prevents me from booking over my lunch break.
[Meghan] I’m not sure if it’s always obvious what new habit will eliminate the bad habit. So, I like your process of identifying the benefits and positive attributes of changed behavior. That could actually help some people come up with what to change if they’re not sure where they’re going wrong.
4. Use the 4 Laws of Behavioral Change.
[Theresa] The fourth step to break a bad habit is to use the 4 Laws of Behavioral Change. If you’ve forgotten, this is James Clear’s process for establishing a habit:
The 4 Laws of Behavioral Change in Action
The 4 laws are:
- #1 Make it obvious
- #2 Make it attractive
- #3 Make it easy
- #4 Make it satisfying
Here’s how I used the 4 Laws of Behavioral Change to create better habits around mealtimes.
Using The 4 Laws of Behavioral to Replace Bad Habits
Scheduling meal times into my calendar makes it obvious. The first thing I do when I go into my office is to check my schedule for the day. I note all the appointments I have. Lunchtime is an appointment with myself. Plus, that lunchtime reminder is always there as I check my calendar throughout the morning.
I’ve made mealtime attractive by having a variety of healthy, delicious food choices available to me. This way I don’t get bored by having the same thing every day.
Mealtime is easy because I plan and prepare food items ahead of time. Whether I want a salad or a grain bowl, I can have lunch ready to go in less than five minutes.
And finally, mealtime is now satisfying. Not only am I satiated, but I have more energy and focus. That means I have a more productive afternoon.
[Meghan] From your example, I can see how applying these laws increases your chances of creating new habits that stick and getting rid of bad habits that work against you.
[Theresa] Yes! Applying the 4 Laws of Behavioral Change will certainly help. But you also have to realize that you’re only human. That means good and bad days. No one can be perfect 100% of the time.
5. Plan for success and failure.
You can minimize the bad days by creating a plan, which is the fifth and final step in the process to break a bad habit.
[Meghan] I was wondering when planning was going to come into this!
[Theresa] Was there a doubt?
To effectively break a bad habit you have to plan for it. A good plan will increase your chances of success. Begin by outlining the action steps that you’re going to take.
And include your why at the top of your plan. On the days when you fall short, and you will, your why will give you the motivation to get back on track.
It’s also a good idea to plan for failure. Think about what could possibly go wrong. Then write down potential solutions. Knowing what could go wrong helps head problems off at the pass.
And, of course, when you still fail, plan to get back up, brush it off, forgive yourself and get back on track immediately.
[Meghan] Good advice.
What I love about planning is that it makes reaching goals easier. Plans remove some of the friction that we create as barriers in our own way.
Also, a plan is great because it’s there to fall back on and get you moving in the right direction when you do have those inevitable bad days.
You Can Break a Bad Habit
[Theresa] I’d like to leave you with this one last thought. The power to break a bad habit—or replace a bad habit—is inside you right now.
It’s important to remember that lasting change is a slow process. But one small step today and another small step every day after add up to big change over time.
Is there anything you’d like to add, Meghan?
[Meghan] I think that most people tend to overcomplicate things. So, pick a place to start—any place—and go for it. You’ve got this!
[Theresa] You sure do! We hope that this 5-step process to break a bad habit helps you take the first steps to change any unwanted habits you may have. Let us know in the comments what habits you’ve changed or replaced with this process. We love hearing from you.
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